I feel like I'm slogging through my days – I don't like uncertainty or change!

I just took a little vacation to the Finger Lakes to visit P, an old friend from college. P lives in CA and stays with her parents at their lake house for a portion of the summer. It's a beautiful spot! I drove there Thursday and returned on Monday afternoon. It was a very low key visit. P had a large brain tumor removed three years ago and is still learning to deal with the physical changes that the operation created. She had a stroke that affected her right side, so she can’t write very well and her speech will always be halted as she searches for words (aphasia). Unfortunately, she is not facing her challenges head on and making the best of the situation. Instead, she has kind of given up and lives a pretty limited life, in my opinion. No judgement – it's her choice, but it's kind of sad to see. I can understand, though, since I deal with depression and live a fairly limited life, too!

Anyway, while there I took a few good walks to get some exercise, spent almost no money, went for a boat ride with P and her dad and was able to jump off and swim in the middle of the lake, hung out with P, caught up and laughed about old college memories, and just generally enjoyed the peaceful lake scenery. It was a nice trip and I really liked being away from the stress of my current job situation.

Oh, I also have recently taken up bird watching as something interesting and fun to focus on – keeps my brain and eyes active! I've been paying closer attention to bird songs and calls when I walk and I saw lots of beautiful birds while in the Finger Lakes region. P's parents have a few bird feeders and it was fun to research and start identifying the various birds I saw. I've always enjoyed observing birds, but now I want to know a little more about them and at least be able to identify more than just blue jays, robins, crows, seagulls and cardinals! Right now I am using old binoculars that I got free at some point and bird books that I borrowed from the library, so it's a cheap hobby so far.

I used 3/4 of a tank of gas for the drive there and then again on the drive back. I also bought some junk food on the ride out of sheer boredom and seemly unmanageable cravings! I took food with me for most of my own meals, P's mom made dinner twice, and P treated me to a very casual dinner and ice cream one evening. I tried to pay, but she wouldn't accept my offer.

I just found a few receipts in my purse. Some recent spending from mid-July and later:
$103.08 – groceries (including assorted junk food items) bought since July 18
$6.38 – paper towels
$31.00 – six-month post office box renewal
$5.00 – garbage disposal for four weeks

Trip costs
$23.81 – gas fill up before trip
$36.20 – gas fill up for drive home
$13.80 – roundtrip tolls
$18.45 – road junk food (fast food milkshakes and fries, soft serve ice cream close to home) ugh

$92.96 – total - not bad for a four-night lake vacation! Would have been less than $75 if I could have resisted the siren song of junk food on the road. Next time I need to just buy some “healthy” snacks for a drive. I had packed a salad for lunch, but apparently that wasn’t going to cut it!

$36.00 – oops, forgot about my cat sitter cost – 3 days x $12, so the trip cost $128.96 total

I am settling back in at home and work. I spent last evening at a local friend's lake house (I'm lucky that I know a lot of people who have waterside vacation homes) with a group of friends. For our potluck I chopped some local veggies from my fridge and served them with hummus and red grapes that I also had on hand. I was very happy not to spend money on that food. I also made my lunches for yesterday and today with food in my fridge. I will do the same for Thursday and Friday.

I'm feeling very anxious and am having trouble focusing at work, but I should get back to it now that my lunch break is over. Baby steps!